A Hockey Player’s Story: Beware: Coaches rape adults too

A Hockey Player’s Story: Beware: Coaches rape adults too

He was my hockey coach in 2 different leagues; at McGill University and at a recreational women’s league in Westmount, Quebec. I had known him for about five years. We had previously flirted, even kissed and fooled around on occasion. But on the night of our end of season hockey party, which was at my house (where I lived with my parents, and sister), I was seeing someone else. Even if we eyed each other, even if we flirted that night, even if I was drinking that night, it was not acceptable for him to rape me. I was raped in my own bed, in my own house, with my parents home. That night I believe he drugged me, but I’ll never know for sure how. Very early on, I excused myself to go to my bedroom to crash while my team continued the rowdy party down the hall from me. They could party all night even if I was asleep, I simply asked that the last person out please lock the door. My parents were home, what could go wrong? I felt guilty ending the party and kicking everyone out. I thought I must have had too much to drink, too quickly. What a shame I thought, I had really been looking forward to this night.

Luckily I have a guardian angel of a friend, who is now a respected Psychiatrist in Montreal, who watched over me as I passed out cold. She knew better than to leave me alone. She had to recount the story to me the next morning because I had zero recollection of any of the events that night which occurred after I sat down on my bed. She took my shoes off, she lay me down, she covered me in my blanket, turned the lights out, and checked on me every 15-30 minutes until she left. She didn’t know our coach was going to stay over, undress me completely, penetrate me…

I woke up and he was on top of me. He was in me. What was going on? Was this a dream? How did I get naked? What time was it? Where was everybody? What happened to the party? Did I wake up and seduce him? Did I ask him into my bed? Was I responsible for this? Do my parents know he is here?

No- I didn’t want to have sex with him. No- I was incapable of making any decisions that night. No- I was passed out cold when the partygoers left. No- I wasn’t enjoying it. No- I didn’t ask for it.

My hockey coach raped me. He denied it the next morning. He told me it was consensual.

He got away with it.

He may have done it to others.

He may do it to your daughter, your friend, your teammate.

I’m Ready. This is my story. And that was over 20 years ago.

Author

WYR

WYR

When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.

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