Thank you for trusting me with your Stories. Thank you for your vulnerability, and for your courage. On behalf of all survivors, thank you for helping us see that we are not alone. And thank you for being patient with me.
I just need someone to understand, someone to give me the love that, I might deserve. I hide my dark thoughts through my personality, a bubbly, silly, larger than life character, who is also shy, and modest. I hide. How do I carry on? How do I find someone who understands? How do I learn to love? How do I gain self belief?View full post
I am sitting here, and a perpetrator is being inaugurated into the presidency, in the United States. I can not function today. I needed to tell my story somewhere because starting last night I kept waking up with these numbers repeating over and over again, my own thoughts and my own story jolting me throughout the night. And today, a day where I can not move. I am frozen.View full post
When I was 14 I used to like going to my cousin’s house on the weekend because of the other kids there. Little did I know I was being watched stared at and completely taken advantage of. I remember that day like it was yesterday…I was wearing long winnie the pooh overalls with a red …View full post
We went out with friends, and we both had been drinking. I was really tired and went straight to bed when we got home about 3 am. She was not having it. She pulled off my jeans and I was too tired and drunk to stop her. I said no and I asked her to …View full post
I was in the end of an abusive relationship and I’m not sure if I can consider this rape so I’m curious. I feel like I need to know.
I don’t even remember what started this particular fight but we were in my bedroom and he climbed on my back and had me pinned down …View full post
Fifteen months have come and gone, But memories still burn Everyone has told their story, but I’ve yet to have my turn. On websites, strangers cry for help And others tell their story To be a victim is to have survived; Some sadistic glory. I couldn’t tell my doctor, Nor the shrink who knew my …View full post
I am the third generation of childhood sexual abuse in my family.
Three generations of girls who were treated like their purpose was to please men who held power over them.
I was the first to tell and be believed. I was 7, I was terrified, and I told my mom.
I was supposed to …View full post
Once upon a time, there was a girl who experienced her first sexual orgasm. That girl was me, Jessica. It all happened one day around 1997 when my older half sister asked if she could perform a lewd sex act on me. I consented and to this day I was never the same. These acts …View full post
I was only 15 at the time and I’ve still been unable to tell anyone this. I was invited to a “party” with my then boyfriend and his friends. When we got to his friends house, no one was there yet but they suggested we start drinking to get ready before everyone else came. It …View full post
I was sixteen and in the best relationship of my entire life. One that even after the rape, I would stay in and stick out no matter the harm we caused.
We were very sexual beings after July 13th when I willing bent over and gave him my virginity. He was a virgin too and …View full post
I got raped when I was 10 but I won’t he talking about it today. Instead I will tell you a different one. When I was seventeen, I met this guy online, he seemed really nice. We couldn’t meet cause we lived in different towns. I graduated and went to college. The same town he …View full post
He was my hockey coach in 2 different leagues; at McGill University and at a recreational women’s league in Westmount, Quebec. I had known him for about five years. We had previously flirted, even kissed and fooled around on occasion. But on the night of our end of season hockey party, which was at my …View full post
If this becomes long, sorry!
So April/May 2016, thanks to a newspaper article I get back in touch with an old friend. He asks me if I’m happy in the relationship I am currently in with my partner, I admit to him I’m not and I want out. Two months after this my partner goes …View full post
I was sodomized by a police officer from Botetourt County Sheriff’s Officer in Virginia. Cowards serve and protect each other, he was never charged, or punished in any way; instead they punish the real victim pressing charges for speaking out and doing something since no one wants to do anything. He gets away and walks …View full post
I am 14 now, and i have severve PTSD, i can hardly sleep at night and im disgusted with myself. I’m constantly terrified he’ll come back, he knows where I live, and hes a family member. My mother trusts him more than my older brother and would make me go places with him if he came backView full post
If I’m entirely honest, it started on a field trip. We were friends, I suppose. I’ll refer to her as “friend” for convenience sake. I only ever had one friend before that, I was a bit of a loner, but I loathed, and still loathe, being alone. So I went everywhere with this friend and then she started telling me things like: “You’d be so sexy if you were a guy” and “If you take off those glasses you’d look stunning”.View full post
The most important thing I have learned is that sex doesn’t need to be scary or forced or painful or hurtful or upsetting, and those are the only words I could have used to describe it when I was with A. I want other women to know that someone being your boyfriend does not give them a free pass to do whatever they want. It might seem like an obvious thing to lots of people, but I think when you’re in the middle of something like that, it feels very complicated.View full post
I felt the most terrible way in the world he kept ignoring my pleas and I had to bear the pain and soon I passed out, i had panic attack, depression and mostly i was traumatized that part of my life is damaged.View full post
Then, while I was dancing with my back turned toward the male student, he reached around me without warning and put his hand down the front of my pants and inside my underwear. I immediately pushed his arm away to get his hand out of my pants and continued dancing as if nothing was wrong. I was so embarrassed but felt utterly dirty and helpless.View full post
If I was placed in a room with him, I wouldn’t be scared. I can deal with him, I can put up with him. The thing that would scare me, would be myself. I don’t think that I could sit there, while he is blissfully unaware of the immense pain he has released inside me, like a drug, however with the opposite effect; a drug that hasn’t left my body since that night.View full post
For a whole year thereafter, I beat myself up over my stupidity for allowing our relationship to escalate that night in New York. The depression and anxiety from that experience followed me around like a dark shadow. Eventually, I began to realize that I had done nothing wrong. I didn’t mislead him; he didn’t care about what I was saying or doing. I didn’t allow it; I felt threatened having a man nearly twice my body weight on top of me. Most importantly, I never consented.View full post
I have a lot of problems, trust is the biggest one, I am always scared of being hurt again, but I am slowly working my way back to the person I used to be, the one who was stolen and locked away but is slowly reemerging, I will make it.View full post
So i don’t blame you I blame myself. I blame myself for letting you touch my body for letting you lead me back to a tent that I once stayed in as a camper. That i once stayed in as a ten year old little girl so excited for the day when she has her first kiss and excited for when she starts high school. Excited for the world to see who she really is.View full post
Editor’s note: All names have been removed in order to not identify the attacker.
Unfortunately my story sounds a lot like like a million others. It happened four years ago when I was eighteen. It was a Saturday night during my freshman year of college. My roommate and I had met up with this group …View full post
At that moment in time I didn’t even care about what had just happened to me because I was just so focused on trying to help my friend, trying all I could to wake her up but I couldn’t move. It was like I was in a room full of people and I was screaming but no one could hear me.View full post
But, Trump’s “just kiss. Don’t wait” guy talk shit or whatever we want to call it is a REAL problem and a REAL attitude men have. I can draw a direct parallel with my first experience. All through being touched inappropriately in ways I did NOT want, did NOT consent to, and was physically struggling to get away from, I was told over and over “I told you I fancied you, just give me one kiss, just one kiss, come on.”View full post
And I barely slept that night I couldn’t stop replaying what happen I did the whole way on the trip never said anything to my boyfriend. I wanted to have a good weekend with him. Later that night the guy called me and asked if I was ok and apologized for being so forceful. So I didn’t want to believe he raped me I just said okView full post
I know now that I am no longer alone. Yes, this is still very much an uphill battle, but I don’t want to hide anymore. I shouldn’t be ashamed of what happened to me because it wasn’t my fault. There is this idea about a grey area when it comes to consent and alcohol. There is no grey area, if someone is unconscious, or not in there right state of mind this is NOT consent. Unless someone gives you full consent to proceed, you don’t.View full post
I have been manipulated, lied too and I was lonely. I was expressing my feelings all over social media, hoping they would realise what they have done. Instead he made himself the victum in the situation…and this was only the begining.
Someone new decided to inbox me to see if I was okay, he was …View full post
I have a disease that belongs to those of war, to those who’ve seen the blood spilled over a hill that everyone wants. A strategically placed mound of dirt, now covered in blood, a hill that will turn the course of a war in someone’s eyes. An important someone who isn’t there to feel the …View full post
I again sat alone in a waiting room– this time waiting for the “advocate” who was assigned to my case. She came in and was angry. She kept asking me questions I didn’t want to answer. She asked me how he undressed me and I didn’t want to tell her that I took off my own clothes, so I told her that he did it. She said that proved I was lying. She said that I should still be playing with dolls. She complained that she had been sleeping when the hospital called her in . She sent me to get an exam.View full post
I dont like the label ‘survivor of domestic abuse’. I dont think that just because i didnt die that i survived at all. Parts of me that once were great are now gone. The person that i was no longer exists. The person i could of been will never exist. They say that you wouldnt be who you are today without the things that happen to you, good or bad. The saddest part of that is that i agree, i just know im not the person i was supposed to be anymore.View full post
I need you to know that everyday is an intense battle to get out of bed, to act normal, to try and make it through the day without a breakdown. I need you to know that I will forever have internal scars and self harm scars. I need you to know that this has changed my entire life and that I will never be the same person again.View full post
Assault 1. My cousin took me to “see the bunnies” when I was 4. He showed me his penis and instructed me to touch and lick it. I cried no, and have no memory after. The family kept it a secret and forced me to visit him until I was a teenager.
2. After …View full post
When people talk about rape, they often think rape steals your innocence. For me, rape and sexual abuse atole everything! It stole my entire childhood. It stole my friends and my family. It stole my dreams. It ultimately made me drop out of school. Ive destroyed my body and have scars all over both thighs and from my wrist to my forearm on one arm.View full post
To this day I cannot think of having sex with a partner. My friends are going out and loosing their virginities and my mind immediately wanders to the worst case scenarios. Will he stop if I say No? Will he try an goad me into sexual favours? Will he take advantage of me like all those years ago.View full post
no longer have any contact with him and I grew to become a much stronger person. I was able to forgive him and myself and move forward. Anyone who is reading this, there is a happy ending for us. Don’t allow yourself and others to make you feel ashamed like it’s your fault. Don’t give up. We are not victims but victors.View full post
For a long time this experience has bothered me. I’m ashamed of myself. I saw myself as the most culpable–I got wasted in public and in such a condition left my sober friend, I willingly got in his car when I should have known better, I decided of my own free will that I would rather have sex with him than stay indefinitely at his house, I tried to act like I wanted to be with him during the act, I tried to perform. It still makes me feel incredibly dirty.View full post
I sat down and he walked over to the television and put on a porn video and asked if I was ok with it and I said yes so he left me there while he went to fix us a drink.as I sat there watching his TV he came in and sat next to me and handed me a glass of gin which I soon gulped down then he started talking about sex and by this time I was real drunk and that’s when it all changed as he pinned me down on the sofa and started kissing meView full post
Now, i want to start off by saying that i was never raped but my experience lasted 8 years of my life and i always felt like i couldn’t compare myself to the ones who had been but my story is just as meaningful as anyone else.
For 8 years, i kept something to myself …View full post
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/lovelauren/
I’m sorry for writing another piece about this garbage when there’s already so much of it swirling around, and I’m sure it’s adding fuel to the flames. But I have something to get off my chest and I think it’s a slightly different perspective than people are used to.
I haven’t written in awhile. I’ve …
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/the-gaslight-is-on/
Last week I started to write about Trump and his openness to sexual assault. Writing about it however made me so angry, and so I stopped for a breather, which lasted over a week. In that time I focused on other aspects that had come out after Trump’s words surfaced. That is what I want to focus …
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/wonderful-women/
I know, logically, he is not going to rape me; but it is impossible to reason with myself in these moments because I am not even here. I am 6,000 miles away. I am not a confident, independent, experienced traveler. I am a sixteen year old girl who blames herself.
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/ptsdtravel/
For those who were not following the trial or verdict, Jian Ghomeshi was acquitted on 4 counts of sexual assault and 1 count of choking on March 24, 2016.
I know this is (several months) late. I needed time to process it all and let the anger, fear, and disappointment simmer down. I want to understand and …
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/not-guilty-does-not-equal-innocent/