Last week I started to write about Trump and his openness to sexual assault. Writing about it however made me so angry, and so I stopped for a breather, which lasted over a week. In that time I focused on other aspects that had come out after Trump’s words surfaced. That is what I want to focus …
I have a disease that belongs to those of war, to those who’ve seen the blood spilled over a hill that everyone wants. A strategically placed mound of dirt, now covered in blood, a hill that will turn the course of a war in someone’s eyes. An important someone who isn’t there to feel the …View full post
I again sat alone in a waiting room– this time waiting for the “advocate” who was assigned to my case. She came in and was angry. She kept asking me questions I didn’t want to answer. She asked me how he undressed me and I didn’t want to tell her that I took off my own clothes, so I told her that he did it. She said that proved I was lying. She said that I should still be playing with dolls. She complained that she had been sleeping when the hospital called her in . She sent me to get an exam.View full post
I dont like the label ‘survivor of domestic abuse’. I dont think that just because i didnt die that i survived at all. Parts of me that once were great are now gone. The person that i was no longer exists. The person i could of been will never exist. They say that you wouldnt be who you are today without the things that happen to you, good or bad. The saddest part of that is that i agree, i just know im not the person i was supposed to be anymore.View full post
I need you to know that everyday is an intense battle to get out of bed, to act normal, to try and make it through the day without a breakdown. I need you to know that I will forever have internal scars and self harm scars. I need you to know that this has changed my entire life and that I will never be the same person again.View full post
Assault 1. My cousin took me to “see the bunnies” when I was 4. He showed me his penis and instructed me to touch and lick it. I cried no, and have no memory after. The family kept it a secret and forced me to visit him until I was a teenager.
2. After …View full post
When people talk about rape, they often think rape steals your innocence. For me, rape and sexual abuse atole everything! It stole my entire childhood. It stole my friends and my family. It stole my dreams. It ultimately made me drop out of school. Ive destroyed my body and have scars all over both thighs and from my wrist to my forearm on one arm.View full post
To this day I cannot think of having sex with a partner. My friends are going out and loosing their virginities and my mind immediately wanders to the worst case scenarios. Will he stop if I say No? Will he try an goad me into sexual favours? Will he take advantage of me like all those years ago.View full post
no longer have any contact with him and I grew to become a much stronger person. I was able to forgive him and myself and move forward. Anyone who is reading this, there is a happy ending for us. Don’t allow yourself and others to make you feel ashamed like it’s your fault. Don’t give up. We are not victims but victors.View full post
For a long time this experience has bothered me. I’m ashamed of myself. I saw myself as the most culpable–I got wasted in public and in such a condition left my sober friend, I willingly got in his car when I should have known better, I decided of my own free will that I would rather have sex with him than stay indefinitely at his house, I tried to act like I wanted to be with him during the act, I tried to perform. It still makes me feel incredibly dirty.View full post
I sat down and he walked over to the television and put on a porn video and asked if I was ok with it and I said yes so he left me there while he went to fix us a drink.as I sat there watching his TV he came in and sat next to me and handed me a glass of gin which I soon gulped down then he started talking about sex and by this time I was real drunk and that’s when it all changed as he pinned me down on the sofa and started kissing meView full post
Now, i want to start off by saying that i was never raped but my experience lasted 8 years of my life and i always felt like i couldn’t compare myself to the ones who had been but my story is just as meaningful as anyone else.
For 8 years, i kept something to myself …View full post
I recently spoke at a high school graduation and for the first time went public about my experience with Childhood Sexual Abuse & domestic violence.
Imagine being 7 years old, walking into your bedroom after taking your nightly bath, and knowing your next door neighbor is watching you through your Disney princess curtains. Knowing that …View full post
Nobody really knows my whole, true story. I don’t like to talk about it; however, I think people need to quit assuming they know everything and gossiping, slut shaming me, and making it seem as though I was never a victim. I’m not going to delve into the gruesome details, because even I don’t want …View full post
I don’t even know where to begin…where does one start to tell the details of the night that changed everything. The night that made me question everything I had ever thought about people, about the world, about myself. The night that has made me choose wrong every single time. I’ve tried to put the pieces …View full post
It’s been a rough year to say the least. I’ve been experiencing some major life changes, and although I’ve rekindled and began many great, fulfilling friendships and prayed as hard as I could to the Heavenly Father to alleviate this burden, a nagging pain in my heart has been unmanageable like a poison eating away …View full post
I grew up in a family that talked about sexual abuse. My father was a pastor. My mother worked with children often. I knew all the signs, or so I thought. The only thing they really didn’t mention to me is that it could even happen in the family. I was never warned about my …View full post
I was a Sophomore in college and it was first semester. I am now a 5th year college student because I almost failed out of school the year of my assult due to psychological issues from the assult.
I had just gotten home to my apartment by a sober driver for a fraternity. I had …View full post
I was raped by my own father from the time I was 8 until I was 17. He was everything from gental andf loving to forceful and very violent. I never quite knew what i was going to be getting or when or where. he started as early as 6 with hid grooming of me …View full post
I don’t remember it happening. Shit. Now that I’m thinking hard of enough I do. Shit. Now that I’m thinking hard enough. I can remember his body pressed on mine. Stop. Shame. I don’t remember how many times it happened. Once. Twice. Shit. Forget. Forget. Stop thinking. Shame.
I don’t like thinking of it. I …View full post
I have been raped twice, over a decade apart. I have struggled with this. I’ve heard it cited often in the media that a person who has been the victim of sexual violence are likely to be raped for a second time, so a person who’s been raped once is more likely to be raped …View full post
Please follow the link to view Ana’s video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyo9eyXTir8 A Message from Ana:
If you are being abused or have been abused, please seek help. Never give up hope. I love you and you matter. RAINN.ORG is a good source if you don’t know where to turn or need someone to talk to. If you …View full post
All names in this story have been changed to protect the privacy of the survivor and the other individuals involved.
I’ve struggled with this for a long time. It’s been 6.5 years. I have talked to a very select few people about it, and only just began therapy. I almost think I just spent all …View full post
My name is Joanne. For five years I have been victim of domestic violence. He tried many times to choke me. He said hurtful things like after him noone would ever want to be with me. But for five years I kept convincing myself he would get better but he never did. When finally we …View full post
Dark hair, looked a bit like Skylar (I think that’s his name – I could look it up on imdb but I’m trying to keep writing before I get bogged down in emotion) from Heroes, those are the only physical characteristics I can really ascribe to the man who raped me …
Whoa, dramatic much… …View full post
Last winter, myself, my friend, her boyfriend at the time and his mate were all in the park smoking weed. It was late and me and my friend had met them after the two of us had been to our friend’s leaving party. After about an hour in the park, the police turned up, they …View full post
I’ve seen all the controversy towards rape & just wanted to share my story. Mine wasn’t horrific, but it made me think.
Heading for a night out, and I had been ‘pre-drinking’ with friends but wasn’t too drunk, just a nice vibe. Got talking to a guy on the coach and straight away he was …View full post
My Father walked out of my life when I was just 2 years old. No one knew why he left or where he went. I was left to grow up without a father. Luckily for me I had my Grandpa. He did everything with me that a father would do. Unfortunately, he passed away a …View full post
The other night my cousin and I were watching avatar, and it was very late. For awhile I had thought of him as a brother, so I would let him hold my hand at times. He’s turning 16 while I’m turning 14. So we were watching avatar when he grabbed my hand, but it was …View full post
We are proud to post our first video story! Thank you Anna for your courage and openness.
Please watch Anna’s powerful video at this link!
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My name is Samantha. I was raped, and never told anyone, and I’m falling apart. I was molested by my step brother starting at age ten that escalated to rape when I was 11, a couple times over three months. I should have said something. Once, my step mother opened the door and i know …View full post
the kid who at the time would be my best friend, later my boyfriend, and soon after my abuser. Freshman year, After a breakup with his first girlfriend I found myself talking to him alot more than i had in the last 8 years of knowing him. That summer before we dated it was perfect …View full post
We talk in English class about the concept of “Perception vs. Reality” and how literature demonstrates this universal truth. I wonder if anybody knows anyone at all as I think back to the word “Ethical” printed in the yearbook right beside my rapist’s face.View full post
I was 14, going into Sophomore year. He was 17 and a senior with a cool car, a perfect transcript, and a sports and voice state title. He was smooth talking and charming and sweet and cute and polite and incredibly complimentary and had a commanding presence. We could talk forever. He was my first …View full post
When I started my first job at a restaurant a girl told me that I look like a virgin, that I look like a girl that has never fucked someone. I guess she is right that I don’t look like that kind of person anymore. I look like sports bras and shirts that are baggy …View full post
I never thought rape would happen to me, I always saw rape stories on tv or the Internet. Most of them would be of guy raped girl, or stranger raped unconscious being. It was always someone they didn’t know or someone they were together with. But my attacker was a 14 year old girl, same …View full post
Even today, I don’t think I fully comprehend what exactly happened to me, or what it means. After ten years I’m still unable to let myself process it. I know that I am the one in the way of my own recovery, but I don’t know if I have the strength to walk that road …View full post
November 29th It was a dark rainy day. I was giving a speech. one i thought it’ll never chance me. Things will be the same. something happened. I felt odd after. A sort blood rush. I was kissed by a man. I kissed somebody. That person didn’t kiss me back. So somebody else did. It …View full post
I thought- he reduced me to thinking- that I was nothing more than a used person, and no one will want me again. I was willing to do anything to get back together, because I knew that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I felt like a broken piece of trash no one will even look at.View full post
And now months and months later I am trying to heal myself, heal the scars on my body, and the torment and flashbacks that haunt my thought. I am trying to feel peace, because I will kill myself believing my worth is only In sexually pleasing a man. I feel really small sometimes, and do feel worthless still sometimes, mostly I am ashamed that this has happened, embarrassed, and broken. But this is a first step, and now I am letting strength back into my life, and proving those thoughts I have wrong. I don’t want to be depressed all the time, I want to lead a normal healthy life & me writing this is me taking the first step of that journeyView full post
I remember sitting in the shower, and not being able to cry, I was so in shock over what had happened. It didn’t even occur to me right away what that was. I just wanted to keep showering. I wanted the water to be hot enough that it would wash my skin off, so I could be someone else. I envisioned my skin washing off like paint and running down the drain, I wanted to be someone else. Someone who could never ever be in that position. I wanted to be someone who could remember what happened.View full post
You want to believe he was just being selfish, imperfect. That this was somehow an acceptable pushing of boundaries. You want to normalize relationship violence because you love him. Then turn around and discuss what it means to be a feminist as if you are one. You want to act as if you care about victims of rape, of abuse, but you don’t. Not really. Your actions have proven that.View full post
I guess I’m still confused on if it was rape or not. I don’t want to say this was rape because there are people out there who raped by others who physically hurt them and forced themselves on them. I don’t consider myself a true victim of rape because I’m not a survivor.. there were moments I was scared of what the guy would do but I didn’t cry out fear or have to scream for help.View full post
I took a shower, wanting to get rid of the evidence of the day. I knew I should call the police, but after going through filing charges as a kid against an adult who molested me, I knew what the process was like and I didn’t want to go through it again.View full post
I want to write down this story in order to help me move on. Ever since it happened I keep going back and thinking about what happened and how I could have stopped it from happening. It was the worst experience of my life, and I want to stop thinking about it. Hopefully after putting …View full post
I caught a whiff of cigarette breath and a flash of a memory from what seems like ages ago. It’s gotten to a point where I accept it. As soon as I think it’s finally gone I hear a familiar voice, see a face in the crowd, a specific look, I know the look now. …View full post
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/wonderful-women/
I know, logically, he is not going to rape me; but it is impossible to reason with myself in these moments because I am not even here. I am 6,000 miles away. I am not a confident, independent, experienced traveler. I am a sixteen year old girl who blames herself.
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/ptsdtravel/
For those who were not following the trial or verdict, Jian Ghomeshi was acquitted on 4 counts of sexual assault and 1 count of choking on March 24, 2016.
I know this is (several months) late. I needed time to process it all and let the anger, fear, and disappointment simmer down. I want to understand and …
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/not-guilty-does-not-equal-innocent/
I look at her and feel resentment. Her pretty hair and tanned skin and genuine smile make me angry. She’s 16 years old, a virgin. She’s an honour student with plans to go to law school. She has hope. Now she’s a painful reminder that I don’t get to be any of those things again. Someone should tell her that her dreams don’t come true.
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/notwhoiam/
Fellow blogger Elizabeth emailed the WYR team in the past few days to see how we were all doing. The Stanford Rapist case has hit us all hard. It hit us hard because it is the same story, the same process we all faced. It is about us, all of us. I told Elizabeth how …
Permanent link to this article: http://whenyoureready.org/its-on-us-all-of-us/